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4 Ways Parents Bore Their Kids Out of Christianity

The highlight of my summer was a family RV vacation to Kings Canyon National Park. Behind our campground flowed a gorgeous river that I returned to multiple times over the course of our trip. Each time I went, I sat and pondered the “big questions” of life. There’s something about the majesty of creation that bubbles up a deep sense of awe about who God is, what he has done, who we are, and the meaning of life.

But this sense of awe also led me to reflect on how so many kids are apathetic about their worldview. A common thread I hear from parents is that their kids just don’t care about their spiritual beliefs, or just don’t care about Christianity specifically. There are certainly many kids who explicitly reject Christianity today, but I just as often hear about kids who are ambivalent.

How does ambivalence happen? As I sat by a river contemplating that question, a thought struck me:

Kids are being bored out of Christianity.

And they’ve been bored out of it by the Christians around them. Since parents are the primary spiritual influencers in the lives of kids, I want to suggest four ways we sometimes let this happen.

1. Parents rely on Sunday school for their kids’ spiritual development.

The vast majority of Sunday school programs don’t exactly challenge kids to think deeply about their faith. It’s Adam, Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Daniel, Jesus’s birth, Jesus’s miracles, and Jesus’s resurrection… repeat. Oh, and how could I forget Jonah! Always a Sunday school favorite.

But hearing the same stories over and over each year without going deeper is hardly different than reading kids the same book over and over and expecting them to really engage.

That’s boring.

When parents aren’t having rich conversations about faith with their kids at home—conversations that help them see the relevance of all those Sunday school lessons—Christianity can start to feel like nothing more than the sum of a handful of Bible stories. That’s pretty easy to leave behind when kids leave home.

2. Parents treat spiritual beliefs as subjective truths.

There are a number of Christian parents who treat spiritual beliefs as a matter of subjective truth—this is what works for them, but something else may work better for their kids. This usually sounds like some version of, “I want my kids to have their own faith journey, and that might not be Christianity for them. I just want them to be happy people with good values.”

Of course, every kid will be on their own faith journey (that goes without saying), but in this context, the parent is suggesting that it doesn’t matter where the child ends up because all beliefs are equally valid. Happiness and good “values” (however the parent defines those) are prioritized over their kids’ pursuit of objective truth—what is true about reality for everyone.

But Christianity is either true or false; it can’t be true for one person and not another. If Jesus was raised from the dead, then he was who he said he was and Christianity is true. If he wasn’t, our faith is in vain, and Christianity is a false worldview (1 Corinthians 15:14).

How does all this lead to boredom? If it doesn’t really matter what you believe, there’s no need to really put effort into determining what’s “true”—true in such a case is just whatever you stumble into thinking works for you over the course of your life. Why bother caring so much about the belief system your parents happen to adhere to?

3. Parents live their lives in a way that’s indistinguishable from those of nonbelievers.

Even for those parents who recognize that Christianity is a matter of objective truth with far-reaching implications, it’s easy for daily life to not reflect that in an obvious way to kids. Parents get busy, and family spiritual disciplines (e.g., Bible reading and prayer), church, serving, and meaningful faith conversations go out the window before anyone really notices what happened.

If the only detectable difference between the lives of a Christian family and those of nonbelieving families is that the Christian family occasionally attends church, kids will (rightly) question what difference being a Christian really makes. And if they don’t know why it matters that much, they won’t be motivated to really commit their own lives to the Lord. They’ll be bored by occasionally listening to “Christian stuff” that doesn’t translate into anything they see as meaningful.

4. Parents don’t teach kids what big faith questions they should be asking.

As I’ve written about before, I grew up in a Christian home and spent hundreds of hours in church. I never rejected my faith, but when I left home for college, it didn’t even occur to me to find a church or join a Christian college group. As far as I had thought through faith, I was saved, I would live my life without doing anything too bad, and go to heaven someday.

In other words, I had some rough “basics” down, yet it was hardly an invigorating faith. No one had ever challenged me to think about big, deep, meaningful questions that would become increasingly relevant as I got older. Things like: How can I be confident that God exists? Why is there so much evil in a world created by a good God? Why is God so “hidden?” What happens to those who haven’t heard about Jesus? Why do some prayers go unanswered? (You can look at the tables of contents in my books for 70 such questions kids should be thinking about.)

No one ever put these kinds of questions in front of me to say, “Hey! Here are some really big questions you should be thinking about when it comes to your faith—questions that have compelling answers and will lead you to a deeper conviction of what you believe!”

Instead, I just kept learning the “basics”—important basics, but only the basics. I wasn’t even aware that there could be so much more richness to my faith. I believed Christianity was true, but it was a boring kind of true. Familiar and comfortable like an old chair.

Plenty of kids today walk out of faith with a big yawn for this reason. Maybe they aren’t explicitly rejecting Christianity in this case, but they’re intellectually bored enough by it that they have no problem relegating it to a small corner of their lives until they feel the need to dust it off again.

Unfortunately, that perceived need often arises in the midst of a life crisis that finally prompts them to ask these questions. And those who have never really taken the time to work through them before will be woefully unprepared. What in the past was boredom can easily then turn to rejection in the darkest of times?

Spiritual apathy may seem less immediately troubling to parents than a child’s outright rejection of faith, but the end result is often the same. Boredom can end up being a quiet faith killer that parents unintentionally foster in their own home.

Need help fighting spiritual boredom? In my next post, I’ll offer ideas for reinvigorating your family’s spiritual life.

What Christian Parents Should Learn from Marty Sampson Losing Faith

Apologetics for Parents

By Natasha Crain

My blog has been quiet since earlier this year because I was finishing my next book (Talking with Your Kids about Jesus; March 2020). Now that I’ve turned it into the publisher and my kids are heading back to school, it’s time to resume blogging!

I debated what my first post should be as I start back up, but decided there were some especially important things to address with the headlines this week about Marty Sampson of Hillsong United saying he’s losing his faith. Hillsong is one of the most popular worship bands today, and Sampson’s announcement has led to endless discussions on social media this week. Last month, a similar high-profile announcement was made by Joshua Harris, a pastor, and author known for his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s what Sampson posted on Instagram:

“Time for some real talk. I’m genuinely losing my faith, and it doesn’t bother me. Like, what bothers me now is nothing. I am so happy now, so at peace with the world. It’s crazy.

This is a soapbox moment so here I go… How many preachers fall? Many. No one talks about it. How many miracles happen. Not many. No one talks about it. Why is the Bible full of contradictions? No one talks about it. How can God be love yet send four billion people to a place, all ‘coz they don’t believe? No one talks about it. Christians can be the most judgmental people on the planet—they can also be some of the most beautiful and loving people. But it’s not for me.

I am not in any more. I want genuine truth. Not the “I just believe it” kind of truth. Science keeps piercing the truth of every religion. Lots of things help people change their lives, not just one version of God. Got so much more to say, but for me, I keeping it real. Unfollow if you want, I’ve never been about living my life for others.

All I know is what’s true to me right now, and Christianity just seems to me like another religion at this point. I could go on, but I won’t. Love and forgive absolutely. Be kind absolutely. Be generous and do good to others absolutely. Some things are good no matter what you believe. Let the rain fall, the sun will come up tomorrow.”

Some of the takeaways from Sampson’s announcement are obvious and have already been dissected ad nauseum this week (for example, no one should esteem Christian leaders to the point that if they fall away from Jesus, it impacts their own faith). However, there is a less obvious point I want to highlight today with implications for Christian parents specifically.

It’s not enough for kids to know that answers to faith questions are available.

As many have pointed out this week, Sampson’s claim that “no one” is talking about the various faith questions he raised is absurd if taken literally. Of course, people are talking about those questions, and they’ve done so for thousands of years. In fact, they’re so common that I’ve written about every point he raised in one or more of my books. He certainly didn’t stumble upon some kind of unexplored territory.

But I’m pretty sure he knows that, and it’s not what he meant.

In fact, he later posted a list of some apologists (authors and speakers who defend the truth of Christianity) for people to check out if they have similar questions.

Sampson clearly knew that answers to his questions were available. The problem here is not a question of available answers…it’s a question of available processing.

Building a Home Where Kids Process the Big Questions

When I talk to people after speaking engagements, a lot of parents will say something like, “It’s so good to know that the answers are out there! I want my kids to know that!” There’s no indication that they have any intention of personally digging into those answers with their kids. They feel it’s enough to point them to some ethereal box of knowledge when a need eventually arises.

Sampson’s statement attests to the serious problem with that idea.

He knew answers were out there, but was apparently living in a Christian climate that never really engaged with them. That silence screamed, “The Christians around me aren’t thinking about faith as deeply as I am, otherwise they would be talking about this more and questioning too.”

For adults like Sampson, this tends to be a function of the climate in the church you attend and the believers you fellowship with. For kids, it’s in large part a function of the climate in your home.

In homes that foster a thinking climate, parents:

Proactively raise big questions for discussion—even when their kids aren’t asking them. (If you don’t know what those should be, there are seventy conversations to have with your kids in my first two books.)
Explicitly tell their kids that questions are welcome and regularly ask what questions they have.
Share their own questions about faith, and how they’ve searched for answers.
Make it clear that biblical faith isn’t blind, and that God has given us much evidence for the truth of Christianity.
Explore the beliefs and logical implications of other worldviews, so their kids better understand Christianity in context.
Press kids to explain why they believe what they do, not just reiterate their viewpoints (on any topic, not just spiritual matters).
Engage in conversation about hot cultural topics from a biblical worldview rather than avoid them.
Model intellectual curiosity about faith by reading/listening to/watching content that grows their own understanding.
Study the Bible with their kids for understanding, not just to memorize isolated verses.

In homes that don’t necessarily foster a thinking climate, parents tend to:

Instill the idea that when we have questions, we just have to have more faith (but biblical faith is trusting in what you have good reason to believe is true).
Assume kids will learn what they need about the Bible in Sunday school (but they won’t).
Equate discipleship with raising kids with “good values” (but Christianity is far more than a set of values).
Fear their kids’ questions, believing they will lose credibility if they can’t answer them (but kids can learn just as much from exploring answers with you).
Believe they have no other spiritual responsibility than to pray for their kids (but we are called to be active disciplers).

Every Christian parent should take a hard look at whether they’re fostering a “thinking climate” in their home. Giving your kids opportunities to process questions (not just telling them answers are available) so they don’t conclude “no one” is talking about these things is a critical part of discipleship today.

And there’s one other related point I want to note from Sampson’s statement. He said, “Lots of things help people change their lives, not just one version of God.”

A lot of kids today—and clearly adults, too—are looking for the worldview that “works” for them. The one that “changes their life.” The one that “feels” the best. The one that “helps.”

The problem is, that’s not the decision-making criteria we should use when considering worldviews. The question should always be, What is true? What is the true picture of reality?

If Christianity changes my life, but Jesus wasn’t raised from the dead, Christianity is still a false worldview, and I shouldn’t hold it. It’s not true.

If atheism changes my life, but Jesus was raised from the dead, atheism is still a false worldview, and I shouldn’t hold it. It’s not true.

Kids not only need opportunities to process big questions of faith, but they also need direction on how to weigh the answers; they need to clearly understand that the search should always be about discovering what is true…not about what subjectively “works.”

I was sitting in a church group recently that was discussing the need for teaching kids these things. One parent very honestly acknowledged his doubts about all this, saying, “It just seems like one more thing we’re supposed to do.”

If that’s how you feel, I want to leave you with this thought. If your child’s math teacher only wanted to teach them addition because subtraction is just “one more thing,” you’d think they were crazy. Subtraction is an integral part of math. In the same way, raising your kids in a home that presses in on deep questions of faith is not one more thing for Christian parents… it’s an integral part of discipleship today, whether you feel like engaging in that process or not.

As you begin this school year, consider what the temperature is in your own home’s thinking climate. If it’s been cold, don’t feel guilty—just turn up the heat. If you don’t, the secular world will… before you even realize your kids have burned out of Christianity.

Handling Bible Questions You Can’t Answer

Apologetics for Parents

By Natasha Crain

During my Bible time with the kids, we turned to a story they hadn’t heard before – the passage from John 9 of Jesus healing the man born blind.

“…and then Jesus put mud on the man’s eyes and he was no longer blind! Jesus had made the man well.”

My 3-year-old twins, Kenna and Nathan, started laughing hysterically. “He didn’t put mud on his eyes!” They started running around the room, cracking up at what they thought was mommy’s joke.

At first, I thought they were just being silly, but then I realized that putting mud on someone’s eyes isn’t something you would expect, having never heard the story before! Still, I tried to preserve the point at hand.

“That does sound funny, doesn’t it? But can you imagine if you couldn’t see? Can you imagine how excited the man must have been to finally see after he met Jesus?”

They looked at me blankly.

Kenna: “Mommy, WHY did he put mud on his eyes?”

Sigh… Back to the mud! Hmmm. Why DID Jesus use mud? He certainly didn’t need to.

“Jesus could heal people any way he wanted. He could have used mud or water or nothing at all. What’s exciting about this story is not the mud, but the fact that Jesus made the man see!”

I missed a great teachable moment by brushing off their question. It’s a fantastic opportunity when our kids ask a WHY question about the Bible… especially one we don’t know the answer to! There are (at least) two major things they can learn from us at those times.

1. It’s important to continually grow in our knowledge of the Bible.

When the answer to a question is not obvious, it’s tempting to brush it off as a simple fact of what happened. But we are to be spiritual warriors, ever-growing “in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). We need to look for answers we don’t know (use a Study Bible or go online!). How wonderful that, as parents, we have the opportunity to consider questions from our kids that make us look at passages with fresh eyes. When we look deeper into a passage with and for our kids, we are teaching them that we can ALWAYS learn something new about God’s Word.

2. We can’t always know answers for certain.

There are many things in the Bible that have multiple or uncertain interpretations. That doesn’t mean we should give up on seeking a deeper understanding of what those possible meanings are. In fact, we do a disservice to our children if we raise them to believe that there are always black and white answers. They will be better equipped to navigate faith questions when they grow older if they understand that some things will never be known for sure… And that this fact does not negate the truth of God’s Word.

Today’s Thought:

What is a Bible question you’ve always had but had never taken the time to find answers to? If you’re like me, there are many!

Today’s Action:

Find the answers to your question! Use a Study Bible, go online, or buy a book (if it’s a topic that requires a lot of thought!). The more we seek answers for our own spiritual development, the more we’ll be prepared to seek answers with and for our kids.

If you want to know the interpretations of Jesus’ use of mud, you can read several commentaries here (scroll to the bottom of page): http://bible.cc/john/9-6.htm

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2Lno6VB

July 25, 2019/by Guest

Should You Raise Your Kids in a Christian Bubble?

Apologetics for Parents

By Natasha Crain

If you read my “About Me” page, you’ll see that my mission as a mom is to raise my kids in a home where faith means more than going to church on Sunday. Indeed, that is the whole purpose of this blog – to help inspire others to think deeply about what that means for their own families and to pursue the same mission.

I proactively seek to apply faith every single day for my kids, to surround their hearts and minds with God. But in doing so, I sometimes have wondered: Am I building a Christian bubble around my kids? And if so, is that good or bad?

For clarity, let me define what I mean by “bubble.” I’ve long held a negative (and unfortunately judgmental) view of Christians whose faith encompasses them so much that they’ve seemingly lost perspective on the world around them and can no longer relate to non-believers in a “normal” way. Faith seems to be the ONLY thing they think about.

“What are you doing for lunch today, Sarah?”

Sarah (in my perceived Christian bubble): “Well, Lord willing I’ll go to McDonald’s. If it’s God’s will, I’ll find a parking space. But you never know because it’s God’s plan, not mine! See you soon. God bless you.”

Of course, that’s an over characterization, but you get the point. I’ve been reflecting on this and have deconstructed my bubble concerns into two key elements: Bubble Visibility and Bubble Durability.

BUBBLE VISIBILITY: Can others see IN, and can you see OUT?

When I was about 8, we lived across the street from a pastor’s family. They had two girls, ages 5 and 3. We were playing one day when the 5-year-old suddenly asked if I had the Holy Spirit. I didn’t know what that meant at the time and responded, “I don’t know, but I’m saved.” That was the last time her mom let me play with her.

She was in a Christian bubble where no one else was allowed to see IN. This is not Biblical. Jesus calls us to let our light shine for the world to see. If we are in a bubble where we hide ourselves away such that non-believers cannot see us, we are ignoring our explicit calling. (Matthew 5:16)

When I was about 10, I invited my best friend to church. It was Bible trivia night. (Horrible night to bring a friend, right?) My friend had never been to church in her life. She got the question, “What is the first book of the Bible?” She had no idea. I remember being absolutely floored that anyone would not know the answer to that question. I asked her afterward, “Did you REALLY not know the first book of the Bible? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.” She never came back to church again, and we drifted apart. I still wonder if that was her only church experience.

I was in a Christian bubble where I was unable to see OUT. I didn’t have perspective on the lives of others without the same faith experience, and therefore could not relate to my friend appropriately. This is like the Pharisees (the religious elite of Jesus’ time) who spent so much time focusing on their own religious laws that they missed the entire heart of Jesus’ message on loving and relating to others. (e.g., Matthew 9:11)

BUBBLE DURABILITY: How protected are you spiritually?

In college and for several years after, being a Christian was more of a “hat” I wore; it was an “extension” of myself. There was me, and there was my belief system attached to me. It never “got in the way” of life or of non-Christian friendships. There was no bubble at all. That doesn’t even mean I was taking off my Christian hat. If anyone ever asked, I would have proudly said I was a Christian. But it’s amazing how many non-Biblical things you can do while wearing something as inconsequential as a Christian “hat.” I certainly found it easy to wear that hat through all the parties I went to.

When you don’t have any Christian bubble– when you aren’t surrounding yourself daily by faith application – you are not protecting yourself spiritually, and you are at great risk for sin to dominate your life. John 15:18 says Christians “do not belong to the world.” We need to have a durable faith-based bubble to understand how to set ourselves apart as we are called.

Finding my current church about 8 years ago profoundly changed me because I was exposed to Biblically sound theology for the first time in several years. This shifted my belief system into true faith that started to transform my heart. A Christian bubble started to emerge as I spent more time in prayer and Bible study.

A bubble now existed, but it was still fragile. Non-believers could easily deflate me with questions I didn’t have good answers for.

My faith has grown a great deal in the last year, in large part (if not entirely) due to the conscious decision to raise my kids in a home where faith is applied every day. In proactively seeking to make faith a part of everyday life for my kids, my identity has become wholly Christian in a way it never had been.

My bubble, crafted with daily faith application, is now durable. This bubble is indeed Biblical, necessary, AND prescribed for all Christians! What I call a bubble, the Bible calls armor:

(Ephesians 6:10-17) “…Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground… Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace… take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

THE RIGHT KIND OF CHRISTIAN BUBBLE

Reflecting on this breakdown of visibility and durability, I realized that the negative connotations I held about Christian bubbles were around visibility issues. Indeed, as Christian parents, we have to be concerned with making sure that the bubbles we build around our kids don’t obstruct their view out or others’ view in. But we should never fear building a durable, spiritually protective bubble around them. If we don’t, they will not be prepared to engage in the spiritual battle of life.

It’s your choice daily – are you giving your kids Christian armor or a Christian hat?

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2xaWvO5

June 23, 2019/by Guest

You Can’t Make Your Kid a Christian

Apologetics for Parents

By Natasha Crain

I thrive on control.

I love projects that can be broken into goals, tasks, and success or failure criteria. Nothing motivates me more than the opportunity to strive toward the successful completion of something. I actually have spreadsheets that outline every hour of my life with a color code for the activity, so I can understand exactly where my time goes. I even have spreadsheets for my kids’ lives!

For a major “control freak” like me, having kids is a real wake-up call to the fact that there are some very important things in life that cannot be controlled via spreadsheet (gasp). I didn’t realize that, however, until a few months ago when I was trying to identify why I was always mad at my twins. Aside from the fact that they were being typical 3-year-olds, they were not behaving according to “my plan.” I had the mentality that perfect parenting could lead to perfect kids. I certainly never thought my parenting was perfect, but every time they misbehaved, I felt it was a direct indictment of the quality of my parenting, and that led to misplaced frustration… at them. When they were good, I attributed it to me, and when they were bad, I attributed it to me even more so.

The problem with this is that it effectively made my parenting all about me rather than about my kids. I realized that I needed to start having a teacher mentality rather than a boss mentality. The key distinction is that teachers are responsible for learning. Bosses are responsible for outcomes. When you think you are working toward an outcome, your focus is on controlling the process. When you think you are working toward learning, your heart lets go of the process to embrace that which will most impactfully grow the student.

How much more so this is true as applied to the development of our children’s faith!
If our motivation for investing in our children’s faith development is even subconsciously rooted in the belief that we 1) can control that outcome or 2) are responsible for that outcome, we will start controlling the process too tightly.

We can’t “make” our children Christians.

Only God can call our children. Not me. Not you.

Only our children can respond to that call. Not me. Not you.

That’s why we could invest 24 hours per day in spiritual activities for our kids, and they could be atheists the day they leave home. That’s why we could invest 0 hours per day in spiritual activities for our kids, and they could be rock-solid Christ-followers the day they leave home.

This shouldn’t be discouraging. It simply means we need to put our children in God’s hands and focus on the responsibility God has given us.

So what ARE Christian parents responsible for?

The three most specific passages in the Bible on parenting all speak to the role of teaching (not to outcomes).

“…bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4, emphasis mine)

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, emphasis mine)

“You shall teach them (God’s commands) diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:7, emphasis mine)

Our hearts have to be precisely right for this calling of Christian parenting. Our time spent in faith development is not a purchase; it is an investment that may or may not pay off with the desired outcome. But God has called us as teachers. We need to let Him be the boss.

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2Jr9cNe

May 19, 2019/by Guest

14 Ways I Teach Apologetics to My 5-Year-Olds

Apologetics for Parents

By Natasha Crain

Recently, several people have asked me, “How do you actually do this apologetics stuff at home? How do you talk to your kids about these topics?”

When I get the question, the person asking usually looks a bit baffled, as if they are asking how I build rockets.

The word apologetics sounds serious, I guess. A lot of people assume teaching their kids apologetics would involve some kind of formal event: Dad comes home from work with his suit and briefcase, loosens the tie (only slightly), then sternly gathers the children and announces, “Kids, it’s time to talk about…apologetics.”

All kidding aside, it doesn’t have to be like that at all! Ideally, we should incorporate apologetics into the way we teach our kids about Christianity. Today I want to give you 14 examples of how I do that with my 5-year-old twins. Obviously, the details of how I communicate with them are age-specific, but I hope this will give you an idea of how the foundation of apologetics fits right into our regular Bible study time.

There are three things to note about these examples:

We do our best to have a nightly Bible time with the kids. That’s when these discussions take place. If you don’t yet have a “God time” set aside for your family, consider how you might do that.
The starting point for doing any of this is having a knowledge of apologetics yourself. When you become familiar with the common challenges to Christianity, you’ll naturally start tailoring many of your discussions with your kids to address certain points. The first step in teaching your kids is simply teaching yourself.
No 5-year-old will be prepared to make a case for and defend their faith based on the examples you’ll see below. That’s not the point. Just as you have to learn basic addition before you someday learn calculus, these concepts are foundational.

Here are 14 examples of teaching young kids apologetics:

We frequently remind the kids that God has revealed Himself to people in TWO ways: through the Bible and through the world around us. It’s easy to slip this into everyday conversation when you make observations about the world around you!

Apologetics foundation: Makes kids aware that “natural theology” (what we can learn about God from nature) is an important part of God’s revelation. Since key arguments for God’s existence take place at this level (e.g., cosmological, design and moral arguments), thinking this way is good preparation.

We often say that “without God, there would be nothing” to emphasize that God is the ultimate cause of everything. My daughter asked this week why we say this if we can get things like pumpkins at the grocery store. I asked her where the grocery store came from. She said people built it. I asked where they got the building materials. She saw where that was going and said, “Eventually, you keep going backward until things can’t just create themselves.” Exactly.

Apologetics foundation: This is one step toward the cosmological argument (God is the first cause of everything).

We sometimes use our Bible time to study age-appropriate space books. This helps emphasize the idea that we can learn about God from the world around us (point 1). We discuss how huge the universe is and ask what we could know about the creator of it all even if we didn’t have a Bible (the cause of the universe must be outside of space and time, enormously powerful and able to choose to create).

Apologetics foundation: This is also a step toward the cosmological argument – God is the first cause, and we can know things about Him based on what He has made. Studying space books as part of Bible time also teaches kids that God and science are NOT at odds, as the world around them will claim.

We talk about how amazing our Earth is for life and compare it to the other planets they are learning about in our solar system. For example, they understand that planets closer to the sun would be too hot for life and planets farther away would be too cold. We explain that God created Earth perfectly for life. We’ve introduced the idea that some people think it happened by “chance,” and how Christians instead believe it’s God’s design.

Apologetics foundation: This is a basic background for the fine-tuning argument.

We’ve discussed how parents don’t have to teach their kids every single rule about doing the right thing. We throw out all kinds of scenarios and ask them what the right thing to do is. They get it right, and we ask how they knew that if we never told them what to do. Then we talk about how other people know the same right thing to do without being told. How does everyone know what’s good and bad? Because God has put those rules in our heart.

Apologetics foundation: This is a basic background for the moral argument.

When we talk about people who don’t believe in God, we emphasize that they too can behave nicely – sometimes even more nicely than Christians! We explain that God placed his guide for what’s good and bad in every heart, whether a person believes in Him or not.

Apologetics foundation: This is a clarification to the moral argument (one a lot of adults still need to understand!).

We’ve read through the World Vision Children’s Bible, which has a (true) story about world suffering after every few pages. Through this, our kids have encountered the reality of natural evil (hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, etc.) and moral evil (the suffering inflicted by wars, corruption, and greed). This led to weeks of conversations about the difference between natural and moral evil, and the fact that the problem of evil is one of the most difficult questions for humans to deal with.

Apologetics foundation: The problem of evil and suffering is one of the most significant challenges to Christianity. Rather than hiding it from our kids, we want them to grow up facing it directly and thinking through the difficulties. We talked at length about each story of suffering and why God may have allowed it to be part of our world.

Our conversations from the World Vision Bible (see prior point) led us to the topic of free will, and how our free will can result in moral evil. My husband and I pretended to be robots that the kids created and said over and over (robotically), “I love you.” This (admittedly cheesy) act demonstrated that free will is necessary for us to genuinely love God. God didn’t just want robots. But that free will can be used to also make bad choices, which leads to much suffering.

Apologetics foundation: This helps explain the concept of free will, which is an important part of the response to the problem of evil.

When our kids ask questions that no Christian has a definitive answer for, I make it a point to acknowledge that 1) the Bible doesn’t tell us everything we wish we knew, 2) I would like to know the answer myself, and 3) some people don’t believe in God because of that question (if applicable). For example, my son has asked quite a bit why God doesn’t show Himself more. I’ve told him this is my number one question about God! I go on to point out that some people say, “God seems to be way too hidden, so He must not exist.”

Apologetics foundation: When we acknowledge these points, we help set our kids’ expectations about faith – for example, there are some answers we will never have. It additionally helps them to understand why others believe the way they do.

We have a night per week where there is no Bible story or lesson planned, and we just discuss whatever questions they have. If you do nothing else listed here, DO THIS. Start right where your kids already have questions.

Apologetics foundation: Setting aside time for questions each week teaches kids that their questions are important and that mom and dad value the opportunity to answer those questions.

We’ve asked the kids, “Why should we believe what the Bible says? These stories about Jesus are from 2,000 years ago! How do you know the writers didn’t make up stories – like a Curious George book – and we believe it for no reason?” While a detailed discussion of the reliability of New Testament manuscripts is beyond them at this point, we’ve talked about the difference between authors intending to write fiction vs. non-fiction, how the New Testament writers wanted to carefully describe Jesus’ life, and how most of the disciples ended up being willing to die for what they said was true (we explained how they wouldn’t be willing to die for what they knew was a lie).

Apologetics foundation: This gets kids thinking about how we can know the Bible is trustworthy and lets them know there are good reasons to rely on God’s Word.

I throw out statements that I hear atheists make to introduce them to other people’s thinking and respond accordingly. For example, when talking about the resurrection, I’ve roleplayed a non-believer and said, “I don’t believe the resurrection happened because I know dead people don’t come back to life!” (an “argument” I hear frequently). Then we talk about how no one naturally comes back to life. We explain that Christians believe Jesus was only able to come back to life because God exists and can work outside of how things normally function.

Apologetics foundation: This clarifies the nature and uniqueness of Jesus’ resurrection.

When talking about Jesus’ miracles, we are sure to emphasize that they gave evidence that Jesus was who he said he was – God’s son. We point out that Jesus didn’t just tell people to believe what he was saying was true. He showed them by doing things regular people can’t do. We let them know that God values giving us enough evidence for us to decide to give our lives to Him.

Apologetics foundation: This emphasizes that we don’t need blind faith – God gives us reasons to believe!

We regularly remind them that truth is not what you like the best, what makes the most sense to you, or what makes you the happiest. For example, we point out that we can’t make it rain just because we would like it to. In the same way, we shouldn’t decide what’s true about God based on what we would like to be true. We have to look at all the information He has given us – in the world around us and in the Bible – and discover what is true.

Apologetics foundation: This gets kids thinking about the nature of truth.

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2XgJJIU

April 21, 2019/by Guest

If Christianity is True, Why Do So Many Kids Have Doubts Today?

Apologetics for Parents, Theology and Christian Apologetics

By Natasha Crain

Christianity Today recently featured an article titled, “The Biggest Hindrance to Your Kids’ Faith Isn’t Doubt. It’s Silence.”

The article summarized the findings of researchers Kara Powell and Steven Argue on the faith of youth group graduates. They found that:

70 percent of churchgoing high schoolers report having serious doubts about faith.
Less than half of those with doubt shared their struggle with an adult or friend.
Opportunities to express and explore doubts were correlated with greater faith maturity.

Powell and Argue concluded that, “It’s not doubt that’s toxic to faith; it’s silence.” They go on to explain how important it is for parents to regularly have conversations about faith with their kids, and I couldn’t agree more.

I saw this article shared a lot on social media, with people rightly encouraging one another to have more faith conversations with their kids. But each time I saw it, an underlying question glared at me:

If Christianity is true, why is there so much doubt to be addressed in the first place?

Quite frankly, if I were a skeptic, that’s the question I would be asking after reading this research.

Skeptics often claim that Christians believe what we do in the face of serious cognitive dissonance; that is, they say we have to hold contradictory beliefs in tension because the evidence is against us. This article at least seemed to support the idea that if there is so much doubt, it should make us think twice about the validity of our views.

I’m always happy to think twice, so let’s do it. This is such an important subject for parents to understand today, but I rarely see it addressed.

Why So Much Doubt?

People throughout history have had questions and doubts about their beliefs, and that includes Christians. Christians have long grappled with big theological issues like the problem of pain and suffering, the morality of hell, and why God is seemingly so hidden. These things have led many thoughtful people—adults and kids alike—to have doubts.

But I believe much of the doubt we see today among youth and young adults is very different in nature. It’s doubt that is specifically a product ofcultural factors—not doubt that has arisen after a deep grappling with theology.

Here are five key factors I see.

Kids today have the expectation that knowledge requires absolute certainty.

A dad emailed me recently because he had started to work through my book, Talking with Your Kids about God, with his skeptical 9-year-old daughter. After reading the chapters on the evidence for God’s existence, he said his daughter concluded there’s no certainty in her belief in God, and the discouraged dad promptly put the book away. He felt that I wasn’t forceful enough in my presentation and that, as a parent, he needs to be a more authoritative instructor to share what he knows “with absolute certainty.”

This dad’s revised approach is a tragic conclusion that falls prey to the same common error his daughter made: believing “absolute certainty” is both possible and necessary when it comes to a person’s worldview. This is often the assumption of kids who are analytically-minded, and it’s reinforced by some popular misunderstandings of the role of science today.

As a matter of definition, “absolute certainty” is something reserved for mathematics and logic. Even science—often heralded today as the way of knowing what’s true—does not provide “certain” conclusions. As (atheist) philosopher Walter Kaufmann put it, “What distinguishes knowledge is not certainty but evidence.” There is almost nothing we are “absolutely certain” about in life. If that’s what our kids believe the standard is for evaluating the evidence for the truth of Christianity (or any worldview), they have a dangerous misunderstanding. They’ll have a standard of proof that we don’t use for anything else in our daily lives and our bound to conclude they have too many doubts to believe in God just because uncertainties exist.

This dad’s “authoritative” doubling down on teaching with absolute certainty will likely only serve to push his daughter further away from God because he is setting her up to accept his conviction of certainty rather than help her evaluate the evidence herself. Had I concluded in my chapters that the evidence in nature points to God with absolute certainty, as I think the dad wanted, I would have mischaracterized the nature of evidence. That helps no one, but rather sets kids up to have unreasonable expectations.

Remember: Biblical faith is trusting in what you have good reason—evidence—to believe is true. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” The reason we can have confidence and assurance in our beliefs is because of the strong evidence God has given us for their truth.

Today’s culture validates feelings as objective truth.

At the other end of the spectrum, many kids today completely throw out the idea of evidence and buy into the secular narrative that our feelingsdetermine truth.

If you feel you’ve been wronged, you’ve been wronged.

If you feel something isn’t true, it isn’t true.

If you feel you should have the right to do something, you should.

So what happens if I don’t feel anything during prayer? Or I don’t feel like God was loving enough for my personal standards in the Old Testament? Or I don’t feel like God’s moral commands are fair? Or I don’t feel hell is reasonable?

I then feel the Bible must not be true—without ever looking at the evidence.

Kids who haven’t been shown the weakness of feelings as the arbiter of truth may apply the “feelings test” to their faith and end up struggling with doubt because they haven’t learned to think more deeply about these questions.

When you’re in an ideological minority, it’s human nature to question your views.

Last year, new research showed that committed Christians are now a minority. (I wrote a post about the implications of that for parents here.) When you believe something that is vastly different than what the majority believes, it’s simply natural to question it. Questioning, to some degree, is a function of which side of the numbers you’re on. Though the number of people who hold a worldview doesn’t have any bearing on what’s actually true, it’s human nature to give weight to what more people believe.

Those who hold majority views sometimes don’t question enough, while those who hold minority views sometimes question more than what may be warranted.

The secular viewpoint is quickly becoming the only viewpoint taught in public schools.

This is related to the previous point because the primary place many kids experience the feeling of being in an ideological minority is in the public school system.

Every day, millions of kids head to school, only to be taught a worldview that is directly in conflict with that of Christianity. The breadth of that conflict is rapidly growing as states like California make sweeping revisions to curricula that affirms unbiblical views as the only acceptable views in multiple subject areas. Many people are championing the changes as being inclusive and diverse, but do not be fooled: There is only one view being taught, and it’s not the one held by millions of Christians. Sean McDowell recently wrote an excellent piece on this here. I encourage every parent to read it (not just Californians).

When we send kids to school for an education, they assume they should trust their teachers as authorities. We shouldn’t be surprised when their “authoritative” secular curriculum causes them to doubt what they learn at home.

[Please note that this is not to suggest that all Christians should pull their kids out of public school. There are many factors that go into educational decisions and I don’t believe one solution fits everyone.]

Our culture raises questions about the religious worldview while ignoring the questions raised by a secular worldview.

Having read the many studies done on kids abandoning a belief in God, I’m fully convinced that they’re only thinking through the reasons they’re walking away from Christianity but not the reasons they’re walking toward atheism.

You see, it’s not just a Christian worldview that leaves questions unanswered. There is room for doubt in every worldview because no worldview answers every question. This is why I spent the last six chapters in Talking with Your Kids about God explaining the logical implications of an atheistic worldview, and how that compares with a Christian worldview. I show, for example, that in an atheistic world:

There can be no objective meaning of life;
There is little reason to believe free will (in any meaningful sense) is possible;
There can be no moral obligation to live in or treat others in any particular way; and
There can be no “right” or “wrong” in any objective sense (everything can only be a matter of personal opinion because there’s no higher-than-human moral authority).

All of these things are granted by many atheist philosophers—this isn’t my personal “criticism” of an atheistic worldview; it’s the logical outworking of the implications of a godless world.

An honest person should rightly have doubts about a worldview that implies these conclusions.

They go against our most basic intuitions.

But the secular world only questions the religious worldview. Popular culture rarely raises the questions inherent in atheism. This leads kids to a false sense that doubt is specific to religion, or that doubt in itself is a cognitive warning of falsehood. It’s not. When we’re honest, doubt is part of being human. It’s part of how we process the world.

It shouldn’t surprise us at all that so many kids doubt Christianity today, given these and other cultural factors.

It just means we, as parents, undoubtedly have work to do.

If you’re interested in the subject of doubt, I highly recommend Bobby Conway’s book “Doubting Toward Faith” and Travis Dickinson’s blog, where he writes often on these subjects.

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2O2W7cp

March 17, 2019/by Guest

What the Same-Sex Marriage Ruling Means for Christian Parents

Apologetics for Parents, Theology and Christian Apologetics

By Natasha Crain

I was tempted to not write anything at all about the same-sex marriage ruling.

So much has been written on this in the last week that I don’t see how one more person’s take could possibly be valuable [Note: this post first appeared in 2015, but it’s evergreen…. keep reading!].

And, valuable or not, no matter what I say, I won’t be fired up enough for some people and I’ll be too fired up for others.

But then I started getting messages from people asking how parents should respond; what they should tell their kids; what it means for the future. I realized that to not comment would be sheepish avoidance of a topic that’s important right now to so many readers of this blog.

So, for those who would like to know what I think the same-sex marriage ruling means for Christian parents, I humbly offer these thoughts.

Getting Back to Basics

I have many wonderful memories of lake fishing when I was a kid. I loved sitting on the shore watching my big red cork out on the water, anxiously awaiting the moment when it would suddenly plunge under—a sign that a fish had grabbed the bait.

But the cork can also go under if the hook suddenly gets stuck on an underwater rock. When that happens, you end up reeling in weeds instead of a fish. As a kid, that was horribly disheartening. I remember crying to my grandpa one day, “BUT THE CORK WENT UNDER! That means there should be a fish!”

He patiently explained that the cork only suggests what is going on below the water, but you can’t count on it. You have to reel in the line to see what the cork is actually tethered to: the desired fish or a pile of weeds. Ultimately, that’s what mattered… not that the cork made you think there was a fish.

Our kids’ view of homosexual behavior and same-sex marriage is a lot like this. There are a lot of parents really concerned right now about how to manage the cork—their kids’ view on these questions—but still not thinking deeply about how to ensure the cork is actually tethered to the right thing—a robust understanding of their faith.

How do I know that? Research shows that fewer than 1 in 10 families read the Bible or pray together outside of meal times in a given week and that only 12% of kids have regular conversations about faith with their mom.

Maybe if I flip those statistics around, you’ll feel the greater force of it: About 90% of Christian parents are not even studying the Bible with their kids, praying with them outside of meal times, or having conversations about faith.

Does it really matter what your kids think about same-sex marriage if you’re not putting in the work to tether that view to a deep understanding of their faith? How effective can you be in discussing individual issues if your kids don’t have a strong worldview foundation to guide that thinking?

My honest answer to the question, “What does the same-sex marriage ruling mean for parents?” is this: It’s just another wake-up call that Christian parents need to get “back to basics” if they want their kids to have a lasting faith in a challenging secular world.

What Are the Basics?

By “basics,” I don’t just mean the things that kids learn by default after a few Sunday school exposures—that God exists, that Jesus died for our sins and was resurrected, and the Bible is God’s word.

Those are just a bunch of assertions.

When you live in a world that is hostile to your assertions, the “basics” have to start looking very different. The basics now have to include (1) the evidence for your assertions, and (2) a deep understanding of why those assertions even matter (application).

Here are the six basics I believe every parent today should be working on with their kids.

There is a good reason to believe God exists (evidence).

If someone said to your kids tomorrow, “There’s no evidence for God!” would your kids (1) know that strong evidence (outside the Bible) does exist, (2) understand that evidence, and (3) be able to articulate that evidence? (For example, see my posts on three of the most significant arguments for God’s existence: the cosmological argument, the design argument, and the moral argument.)

If not, do you want to start working on that this week? Lee Strobel’s The Case For A Creator is a great introduction. There’s even a kids’ version. Get both and study together.

If God exists, that matters (application).

Many people believe God exists but don’t have a deep understanding of why that fundamentally matters to our view of the world.

Here’s the thing. If a moral law-giving God exists, He is the objective standard of morality. The existence of divine laws means it’s possible to break them—to sin. That means our actions can be right or wrong, regardless of our personal opinions.

If God does not exist, there are no objective standards of morality (no divine law-giver). With no moral laws to break, sin is a meaningless concept. Nothing can be absolutely right or wrong, and everything is a matter of personal opinion.

The question of whether or not sin is a real concept is the foundational divider on moral issues, and at its most basic level, it’s a question of whether or not God exists. If a moral law-giving God exists, it matters tremendously, as sin becomes real, and sin becomes a problem that must be dealt with.

There is a good reason to believe Jesus was resurrected (evidence).

If someone said to your kids tomorrow, “There’s no evidence that Jesus ever lived, and even if he did, science conclusively shows he could not have come back to life. In addition, it’s clear the resurrection was just a story copied from pagan myths?” would your kids be able to respond?

If not, do you want to start working on that this week? Read The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus by Gary Habermas and Michael Licona to understand the historical evidence for the resurrection and discuss with your kids. Here is an article on the evidence for Jesus’ existence, and here is everything you need to know about pagan copycat claims.

If Jesus was resurrected, that matters (application).

First Corinthians 15:14 says that if Christ has not been raised, our faith is in vain. It all comes down to that. Throw it all away if the resurrection didn’t actually happen. If it did, it confirmed that Jesus was God, and that means we need to hang on His every word and those words must define our lives (see number 5 for why we should trust the Bible as a reliable record of what He said).

In other words, if our creator actually lived on Earth, it should automatically be the most important thing in our lives to know Him and live for Him. I went to church every week growing up and believed that Jesus was resurrected, but really couldn’t have told you why that mattered to my life so much. Don’t take it for granted that your kids get this. Understanding why the resurrection matters changes everything.

There is a good reason to believe the Bible is God’s word (evidence).

If someone said to your kids tomorrow, “The Bible is a book of fairy tales written by ancient people who didn’t know how else to explain their world…” would your kids be able to confidently explain why there is a good reason to believe it’s actually the reliable word of God?

If not, do you want to start working on that this week? Read Cold-Case Christianity by J. Warner Wallace as a starting point to learn about the reliability of the Gospels specifically.

If the Bible is God’s word, that matters (application).

If I had to name a single takeaway I’ve had from watching the online comments from the week, it would be this: Many Christians and nonbelievers have a profoundly limited understanding of the Bible.

I’m not a Bible scholar and have much to learn, but there are some basic things every Christian should know.

For example, how many times have you seen someone comment this week, “But God loves EVERYONE!”? (usually with 48 exclamation points and even more caps for emphasis). Of course God loves everyone. No one (except crazy fringe groups like Westboro Baptist) is saying otherwise. However, it’s really Bible 101 to understand that God loves everyone but hates sin…and that the Bible identifies what sins there are.

Or how about the nonbelievers posting verses from the Old Testament that only applied to the theocracy of Israel and asking why Christians don’t follow those laws (as if that’s a big “gotcha”)?

Or how about Christians saying “who are we to judge others?” Christians are to judge! (If you’re unclear about what the Bible says on judging others, here is a brief article.)

If the Bible is God’s word, it’s really, really important that kids know how to study and use it appropriately.

But how is that possible if 90% of Christian parents don’t study the Bible with their kids on a regular basis? What good does it do to point out verses on various aspects of morality if your kids have no passionate conviction that the Bible is actually God’s word?

In my opinion, those are the basics. Does it look like a lot? No one ever said basics are easy. They’re just fundamental.

But What About Same-Sex Marriage?

This post is not meant to trivialize the need to discuss same-sex marriage with your kids. It’s a big deal and has the potential to fundamentally change the social structure. It is something to discuss with your kids.

But how our kids develop their views on any question of morality—premarital sex, adultery, pornography, or anything else—should be the outcome of what is already a deeply held Christian worldview.

How you should talk to your kids about same sex-marriage is really no different than how you should be talking to them about any other moral issue…

There is a good reason to believe God exists.

If God exists, that matters.

There is a good reason to believe Jesus was resurrected.

If Jesus was resurrected, that matters.

There is a good reason to believe the Bible is God’s word.

If the Bible is God’s word, that matters.

…And here’s what the Bible says about (x, y, and z).

…And here’s where our society (legally and/or culturally) differs with the biblical worldview.

If you’re jumping straight to what the Bible says on something—without having done the foundational work of the basics above—you’re managing the cork without caring if there’s actually a fish underneath.

Imagine how much our world would change if every Christian had a deep understanding of these “basics” and could engage nonbelievers at the foundational worldview level, rather than one cork issue at a time.

It can.

It starts with you: The parents raising the next generation.

May we all help our kids become true fishers of men.

What conversations have you had with your kids about the ruling? What struggles do you have in addressing it?

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2GfBmJw

February 10, 2019/by Guest

How Sunday Schools Are Raising the Next Generation of Secular Humanists

Apologetics for Parents, Theology and Christian Apologetics

By Natasha Crain

Last year, for various reasons, our family had the opportunity to attend a few different churches. Each time, we debriefed on what happened in Sunday school and what the kids learned. As they recounted their experiences, I was struck by how similar they were to the stories I’ve heard from so many parents in the last few years while speaking at churches and conferences.

Parents who take the discipleship of their kids seriously are typically disappointed by the quality of their kids’ Sunday school program.

For example, I asked people on my blog’s Facebook page a few weeks ago how they felt about the kids’ program at their church. The typical response was, “It’s OK. Standard stuff. Bible stories. Snack. Some songs. Maybe a video. Nothing very deep.”

It’s well known that at least 60% of kids are leaving Christianity by their early 20s today, most turning to a secular worldview. There are a lot of factors that go into that, but today I want to talk about how Sunday school programs fail to be more influential. More specifically, I want to talk about how their failure to be more influential results in kids becoming a particular kind of secularist: the secular humanist (secular humanists are those who reject a belief in God but believe they have a responsibility to be “good” people).

To understand why this happens, we have to first understand the role of culture in influencing our kids’ beliefs.

Cultural Influence is Stronger Than You Think

I recently read Dr. John Marriott’s new book, A Recipe for Disaster: Four Ways Churches and Parents Prepare Individuals to Lose Their Faith and How they Can Instill a Faith That Endures. Marriott has spent a large portion of his academic career researching factors behind deconversions from Christianity to atheism. In his book, he describes how churches and parents inadvertently set kids up for faith crises by “over-preparing, under-preparing, ill-preparing, and painfully-preparing” them for the world.

Marriott’s chapter on under-preparation and how churches and parents often fail to appreciate the power of culture is especially powerful. It sheds much light on why the church experience is so important for kids—and why it so often doesn’t have the impact it should. I can’t do full justice to Marriott’s work and insights here, but I want to highlight a key point from that chapter as it relates to my current topic.

Marriott defines culture as “a comprehensive, shared set of largely subconscious assumptions and values of a group that are the product of both history and institutions, and which constitutes for them a social ‘reality.’ It is the space in which we live and move and have our being. As such, it has incredible power to shape the kind of people we are and what we accept as reasonable and moral” (emphasis mine).

We generally assume that what we believe is simply what is most rational, as determined by our cognitive abilities. As Marriott points out, however, that is only part of the story. He explains, “Ideas do not originate, seem reasonable, and find acceptance in a vacuum; they do so within social settings and conditions that make them seem either plausible or not. But, and this is crucial, the role of culture in influencing claims as plausible or rational is subversive. By that, I mean that the plausibility and rationality of claims is felt, not apprehended cognitively. Culture does its formative work at the affective level of the gut, not the intellectual level of the head” (emphasis mine—more on those words in a minute).

What’s the implication here? When a society buys into a given interpretation of the world, it legitimizes that interpretation, and it does so at the deepest gut level, despite what your own thinking may otherwise tell you. Consider Europe in the middle ages, for example. Nearly everyone held a Christian worldview. The church played a role in every part of life and every level of society, including the economic, social, intellectual, and cultural lives of all Europeans. The prevalence of the Christian worldview in culture reinforced its rationality. If the medieval church didn’t do a good job of explaining to people why they should believe Christianity is true, it wasn’t as critical for justifying their beliefs—those beliefs were already legitimized by culture.

Today, however, it’s secularism that is legitimized by culture. Belief in the supernatural—that anything beyond the natural world exists—can no longer lean on society’s acceptance for its plausibility. Culture now shapes our kids’ gut-level reaction to God in a negative way.

It’s up to the church and parents to offer an even stronger response.

Where Sunday Schools Go Wrong

If you’re familiar with my writing at all, you know that I’m constantly beating the drum of how parents have the primary responsibility for their kids’ discipleship. None of this is to suggest I now think that falls to the church.

But the church has a tremendous opportunity to come alongside parents and be an alternative culture that reshapes our kids’ gut-level reaction to a supernatural worldview in a positive way.

As I said at the beginning of the post, research demonstrates this isn’t happening. Sunday schools are doing very little to offer a strong response to counter the culture narrative, and what they are doing is actively contributing to kids walking away to secular humanism.

While much could be said as to how that happens, I want to focus on four problematic themes I’ve personally seen in churches, and that I’ve inferred from my conversations with other parents about the Sunday school programs in their churches. Of course, this is a generalization. There are certainly Sunday schools out there that don’t match this profile, or only do so to a mild degree. But I’ve found these to be common problems.

Lessons focus on character development without thoughtful ties to theism (a belief in God).

The predominant message kids get in many Sunday schools is that they should be good people. They should love others. They should forgive. They should share. They should give to others.

That’s nice. I want my kids to do all those things.

But there are critically important questions, given the competing secular narrative, that are rarely discussed, like:

Why is it that we can call anything good? If God didn’t exist, there would be no objective basis for calling anything good or bad. Everything would be a matter of opinion because there would be no higher-than-human moral authority.
Why should we be good people? If God didn’t exist, there would be no objective reason why anyone should live in any particular way. The word should imply a moral obligation that can’t logically exist in an atheistic world.
What evidence is there that God even exists?

No, these aren’t philosophical questions kids can’t understand. In Talking with Your Kids about God, I provide conversation guides for these and many related topics that are being used with kids as young as first grade. It’s not that it’s not possible; it’s that the church hasn’t woken up to the necessity. It’s easier to teach a lesson on being a helpful friend.

Many of these church kids will grow up to maintain the value of being “good,” but not understand how the existence of God is necessary to define that (nor understand why there’s a good reason to believe He exists).

There’s not enough emphasis on understanding the identity of Jesus and why it matters.

Secular humanists often appreciate Jesus as a “good moral teacher” in a way that irreligious people without a Christian background do not. And if you listen to the average Sunday school lesson, you couldn’t be blamed for thinking that was the basic church message as well. But whether Jesus was God makes all the difference in the world.

With the culture saying He was only a good moral teacher, Sunday schools should be responding by helping kids answer questions like:

Did Jesus really claim to be God?
Who did the disciples think Jesus was?
Why did people around Jesus conclude He wasn’t “just” a good moral teacher, as so many people believe today?
What difference does it make if Jesus was God incarnate or just a good moral teacher?

By not addressing these deeper questions, Sunday schools prepare kids to appreciate Jesus’s moral teachings but also to drop their vague belief in his divinity once the culture becomes the stronger narrative. Once again, we end up with secular humanism.

Bible teaching is limited to what’s in the Bible, and rarely addresses questions about the Bible.

Kids hear all about amazing biblical miracles in church, then go into a world that says those miracles aren’t possible.

Repeat.

What are they to take from that intellectual tug-of-war?

If the Bible is going to be taken seriously, Sunday schools can’t just keep retelling stories. They have to address why there’s a reason to believe those stories are actually true. In a world that says the Bible is a book of fairy tales, Sunday schools should proactively be answering questions like:

How were the books of the Bible selected?
Why were books left out of the Bible?
How do we know we can trust the Bible’s authors?
How do we know the Bible we have today says what the authors originally wrote?
Does the Bible have errors and contradictions?

(If you’re not sure how to answer these, they are all chapters in Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side.)

Without this knowledge, kids can learn to appreciate secular humanist values like courage through David, leadership through Moses, or self-sacrifice through Jesus, but they won’t have any reason to conclude the Bible is a true telling of reality that’s authoritative for their lives. The stories they hear each week will become just one more source of literary moral inspiration for a secular humanist.

Churches aren’t supporting parents enough in discipleship, so parents end up focusing on raising “nice” kids.

Something I consistently hear from parents is that the kids in their child’s Sunday school can be just as negative of an influence as kids outside the church. I’m not talking about things that would be natural for all kids to struggle with (general sinfulness), but things that you might expect to be different with church-going families. For example, it’s common that kids in Sunday school are now telling others in class that the Bible isn’t true or that believing in God is stupid.

In many cases, this is because parents—even those with deep faith themselves—don’t know how to equip their own kids for today’s world. The culture has already done its work at the gut level, the parents send their kids to Sunday school hoping to counter that, the Sunday school isn’t up to the task (for reasons already discussed), and the church ends up looking like the outside culture—a place filled with kids who adhere to a secular worldview, consciously or not.

It’s a vicious cycle. And few churches are working to equip parents with the understanding they need to respond faithfully to culture at home. Meanwhile, parents do what’s easier and focus on raising kids with the kinds of “good values” any secular humanist would be proud of. Those kids eventually discard Christianity in favor of simply being “good without God.”

The church and parents lose the culture war together.

Last year, a team and I started a ministry to change that: Grassroots Apologetics for Parents (GAP). GAP works with local churches to launch and host chapters that equip parents with a deeper understanding of the Christian worldview and apologetics. Chapters complete two 10- to 12-week studies each year. Dozens of pilot chapters launched in the fall or are launching this Spring. Click here to learn more about bringing GAP to your church—we would love to have you part of this movement.

It’s going to take a lot for the church to catch up to the impact of culture. But it can be done. Just as parents and the church can lose the culture war together, we can win the culture war together. It starts with the realization that the battle is happening whether we want to fight or not. The choice is then ours: Prepare and engage, or keep giving kids goldfish and playing games each Sunday.

If you’re interested in curricula designed to take kids to this deeper level in churches and private schools, check out Foundation Worldview Curriculum and Deep Roots Bible Curriculum.

Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2Rr1wPt

January 20, 2019/by Guest

60 Christmas Gift Ideas for Christian Kids and Adults

Apologetics for Parents, Theology and Christian Apologetics

By Natasha Crain

I’ve recently had a lot of people asking for recommendations for Christmas gift ideas, for both kids and adults, so I’ve put together this detailed list of my top picks! They are almost all books, but there are a few other ideas as well. Gift ideas for kids come first (mostly for the under 12 crowd, since that’s where my own kids are), followed by gift ideas for adults. Enjoy!

30 Christmas Gift Ideas for Christian Kids

Children’s Bibles and Bible Reading Tools

For kids not ready to read a complete Bible, children’s Bibles are a great starting point. They feature selected Bible accounts, a simplified narrative, and engaging pictures. The problem with many children’s Bibles, however, is that they include too little of the Bible (you’ll always get Noah’s Ark, but how about Nehemiah or Job?) and have overly simplified narratives that leave out important points. I’ve looked at lots, and lots of Bibles in this category and the following is my favorite by far:

The Complete Illustrated Children’s Bible includes a much greater breadth of biblical accounts than most other children’s Bibles. I love that. The narratives themselves are simple and direct, so they are very accessible. At the same time, you won’t find them watered down in kiddie language as in many books. The illustrations are beautiful. This is almost 300 pages, and there’s nothing I’ve seen that even comes close to the quality here for younger kids. The website says this is targeted at 5- to 8-year-olds. (If you have a child 9+, don’t get a children’s Bible. It’s time to move up to learning to read a full Bible!)

Exploring the Bible: A Bible Reading Plan for Kids isn’t a children’s Bible, but rather a Bible reading plan. Kids won’t read every word of the Bible using this, but it’s a solid selection that takes you beginning to end. Each day there are verses to read with a small box for them to answer a basic question about the reading. For kids who enjoy writing, this makes it more engaging than simply a list of passages to read. I’ll be honest and say I got this for my 9-year-old twins last Christmas and they didn’t get too far with it despite liking the concept and presentation. But I am recommending it because it’s a unique book that would work really well if the parent is committed to focusing on using it as the primary Bible reading tool for the year.

Bible Infographics for Kids is a 50-page book with beautifully designed spreads that present the Bible in infographic form! My 10-year-old son read through this in a day and loved it. Periodically he comes up with some kind of Bible fact that he learned from reading this, so it really stuck with him. It’s an engaging presentation for any kid, but I especially want to highlight this for parents who may have a child who really resists Bible reading. You certainly aren’t reading the actual Bible with this book, but it can be a stepping stone with it’s appealing visual design to get your less-than-focused elementary age boy to sit down and look at the biblical story through different eyes. I think this book is seriously undermarketed, as I have never heard anyone talk about it. I would never have heard of it myself had the publisher not sent me a copy. It would make an excellent gift and is very unique!

Children’s Devotionals (12 & Under)

I am extremely picky about devotionals. I can spend the whole afternoon at a Christian bookstore taking them off the shelf, reading a few selections, and deciding to put them back because 1) they are too simple/watered down, 2) they are theologically not even quite right, or 3) they are focused on character development (“here’s how to be a good person!”) far more than Jesus himself. I also want to be clear that I would never recommend devotionals as a substitute for reading the Bible with your kids. But, as a supplement that kids can read on their own or with you, they can be helpful…if they aren’t bad. With that in mind, here are a select few I have chosen and appreciated (note my kids are all 10 and under, so I, unfortunately, do not have recommendations yet for the teen crowd). I’m listing them in order from youngest to oldest audience.

Hope for Each Day: 365 Devotions for Kids is listed as a devotional for 6- to 10-year-olds, but I would say it’s more for 4- to 8-year-olds (older kids need more meat than this provides). For the younger crowd, these are solid, theologically accurate devotions that get beyond the surface and are great discussion starters (not that that’s what you want before bed!).

Grace for the Moment: 365 Devotions for Kids is another solid choice for younger kids. This one, too, is listed for 6- to 10-year-olds, but I would say it should skew a little younger (more like 5 to 8 or 9). These are short devotions that end with some questions for self-reflection. I liked that the book (in both design and content) is appropriate for boys or girls so you can use them for family time with multiple kids.

Building Faith Block by Block [An Unofficial Minecraft Guide] is a devotional for boys who are Minecraft lovers. Each devotional features a Minecraft story and then applies it briefly to a Bible passage with some questions for reflection. Unlike the other devotionals, I did not evaluate this in depth before getting it. My son loves Minecraft, and I trust his judgment, so I decided to let him read and tell me what he thought of it. He really liked it but concluded it was heavy on the Minecraft and light on the biblical learning. Still, I wanted to include it here because if you have a boy who isn’t inclined toward devotionals but likes Minecraft (I bet there are many!), this could be a great way to begin getting them to engage more with the Bible. I’m shocked the website says it’s for kids 12 to 18. I would say 8 to 12.

Indescribable: 100 Devotions about God & Science has 100 devotions for science-loving kids (boys or girls). They focus on amazing facts about God’s creation, and there’s some really interesting stuff in here! The whole idea is to help kids realize how powerful, intelligent, personal, and purposeful our Creator is. It’s also an attractive book, with cute illustrations throughout. As I’m sure some will be wondering, this book is mostly appropriate regardless of your view on the age of the Earth. However, there are a few devotionals that are specific to a young Earth view (e.g., a chapter on “Shooting down the Big Bang”).

For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens is a good choice for tween girls who are drawn more to girl-specific examples and a relational approach. While it’s not in depth, it’s theologically solid. My 10-year-old daughter, who sometimes has trouble holding interest to finish whole books, finished this one on her own with no prompting from me. If your daughter likes this one, Wynter Pitts has a second book which I would equally recommend, called You’re God’s Girl. There’s also a matching coloring book which would make a nice complementary gift!

The One Year Everyday Devotions: Devotions to help you stand strong is a good choice for both boys and girls in the 9 to 12 age range. The readings are quite short, but they make some deep points and apply to everyday situations. If you have a girl who isn’t super “girly”, this is a perfect choice (no pink princesses here!).

Apologetics Books

Apologetics is the study of how we know Christianity is true. If you want to raise faithful kids in a challenging secular world, teaching apologetics is crucial. Raising your kids with this understanding ultimately must start with you (so see my book recommendations under the parents’ section below), but there are a few excellent apologetics books for kids under 12 as well. These should go hand in hand with all else you’re doing!

The most comprehensive set of books in this category is the trilogy by J. Warner Wallace. Wallace is a cold-case homicide detective and former atheist who became a Christian after applying detective methodologies to the investigation of biblical reliability. He has three adult books that investigate the truth of Christianity from a similar detective’s perspective: God’s Crime Scene (evidence for God’s existence), Cold-Case Christianity(evidence for Christianity specifically), and Forensic Faith (the necessity of having a faith based on good evidence). I recommend these all the time, and now he has excellent kids’ versions of the same books: Forensic Faith for Kids, God’s Crime Scene for Kids and Cold-Case Christianity for Kids. They are written for 8- to 12-year-olds and correspond to the chapter sequence of the adult versions so you can study together. Because they are written in a detective style, they are really engaging. These books are easy reads that are packed with value for 8- to 12-year-olds. There’s even a free website with corresponding videos and worksheets. I’d recommend getting all three, but if you start with just one, I’d go with Forensic Faith for Kids because it establishes the importance of apologetics before they dig deeper.

You’re probably familiar with Lee Strobel’s best-selling book, Case for Christ. You may or may not know he has a whole series of similar books that make a case for the truth of Christianity from a journalist’s perspective, and great kids’ versions to go with them. Check out the following titles and see which might be of greatest interest to your 9- to 12-year olds: Case for Miracles for Kids, Case for a Creator for Kids, Case for Christ for Kids, Case for Faith for Kids, and Case for Grace for Kids.

Melissa Cain Travis has written a trilogy of illustrated storybooks that explain key apologetics concepts through an engaging tale (to be read in a single setting). These are very cool because most books for 9- to 12-year-olds aren’t designed to be read in a single session. These are great for the family to read together and then discuss. Kids can then go back and read them on their own. The three books are: How Do We Know God is Really There?, How Do We Know God Created Life?, and How Do We Know Jesus is Alive?

If you have kids in the 5-8 age range, who aren’t ready for the books I just talked about, start here! The Picture Book Apologetics series talks about apologetics concepts at the most basic level, and have sweet, simple pictures to capture a young child’s imagination. Pig and the Accidental Oink! (Volume 1) introduces the cosmological argument (that the universe had to have a creator), Chameleon’s Can of Worms (Volume 2) introduces the problem with moral relativism (some things are not a matter of opinion!), Possums and the Empty Tomb (Volume 3) introduces evidence for the resurrection, Fox and the Hard Day helps kids understand the problem of evil, and Pooch and the Pearly Gates teaches kids about heaven and the new Earth. In addition to these story books, the authors have a kid’s book on logical fallacies (i.e., errors people make in reasoning, and how to think more critically). The content of this one would be more appropriate for kids 8+: Pitfalls: A Quick Guide to Identifying Logical Fallacies for Families.

What Am I? is the story of a boy named Amare, his robot Bobo, and his little sister Nya. Amare makes a variety of things, like a tower and a cage, and asks his robot what he thinks. The robot always replies with a description of what those things are made of–“Excellent collection of colourful plastic parts.” Amare explains that they are made of the same parts, but they are made FOR very different things. He then explains all his inventions and what they are made FOR even though Bobo, as a robot, can only detect what they are made OF. Eventually, Amare goes to his mom to ask what HE is made for and learns that if you want to find out what you were made for, you need to ask the one who made YOU. Amare and Nya go on to learn what God told us he made humans for. I LOVE that this book tackles the naturalistic worldview (that we’re nothing more than our physical parts) head-on at a level perfect for elementary age kids to understand. It’s a 30-page picture book and easy to read, yet will facilitate deep conversations.

Non-Book Gifts

While this post is focused on book gifts, there are a couple of awesome non-book gifts I would highly recommend.

Bear & Squirrel is a company that puts out a yearly prayer calendar. The images are amazingly adorable each month and every day tells you what to pray for! It’s such a great way to give kids ideas of how to pray in more diverse ways than “thank you for today.” We bought one for 2018 for all of our kids, and they loved them.

I am constantly inspired by the amazing work that author Kristen Welch from We Are That Family does around the world to create jobs. Earlier this year I subscribed to her fair trade bracelet of the month club. For $15 each month you receive a beautiful handmade bracelet that empowers women in difficult economic (and other) circumstances. I have two daughters, so they take turns getting to have the bracelets that come. They look forward to receiving them every month and learning about the women who crafted them. This is an extremely meaningful gift that your daughter can receive throughout the year.

We don’t watch a lot of videos, so this list is conspicuously missing recommendations in this area. However, I am absolutely crazy about Owlegories. There are six DVDs with a total of 18 episodes so far. Each episode is short, adorable, and actually quite funny (as in, makes an adult laugh with its clever humor). They teach great lessons about the Bible that get away from cliches and feature special messages at the end of each by a well-known Christian teacher such as Matt Chandler. My son AND daughters like these. They would make a wonderful stocking stuffer!

30 Christmas Gift Ideas for Christian Adults

Since almost all of my reading is on apologetics and theology, I’m going to focus these gift ideas on books in these areas. There are so many great books that can be recommended, but my goal here is to give one great idea for each type of gift recipient I list. Since this is recipient-based rather that category-based, I won’t include detailed descriptions as I did above. If you are looking for a gift for someone matching the description, just click over to Amazon to read more. In no particular order…

For both prayer warriors and those who struggle to pray:

For those going through a difficult time caring for others:

For those who want (or need!) to begin learning about the reliability of the Bible (this is a FABULOUS new, short, and accessible book):

For newer Christians, or Christians who want to have a better understanding of how the whole biblical narrative fits together:

For Christians who want to better understand the evidence for the deity of Christ:

For Christians struggling with doubt in their faith:

For Christians interested in a theological and scientific critique of theistic evolution (the idea that God created everything through evolutionary processes):

For Christians who want (or need) to begin learning about the importance of apologetics for their faith:

For Christians who are interested in the intersection of culture and faith on topics of sexuality:

For Christians who are interested in a critique of the atheistic worldview and better understanding its logical implications:

For Christian parents who want to start learning apologetics so they can be better prepared to have deep conversations about faith with their kids of any age (yes–this is my own book!):

For Christian parents who want to start having conversations with their kids about the evidence for God’s existence, the relationship between God and science, the nature of God, and the logical implications of a Christian vs. atheistic worldview (my second book!):

For Christians who are struggling with or want to better understand the existence of evil and suffering:

For Christians who want to study the book of Psalms in a creative way (e.g., coloring and journaling):

For Christians who want a primer on basic theology:

For Christians who are passionate about apologetics and love meaty reference books (this is the recent complete update to the classic–it’s incredible!):

For Christians who have read everything you’ve heard of on apologetics and you want to find something probably off their radar (I randomly discovered this book a couple of months ago, and it was so enlightening, yet I’ve never seen anyone talking about it!):