What Christian Parents Should Learn from Marty Sampson Losing Faith
My blog has been quiet since earlier this year because I was finishing my next book (Talking with Your Kids about Jesus; March 2020). Now that Iāve turned it into the publisher and my kids are heading back to school, itās time to resume blogging!
I debated what my first post should be as I start back up, but decided there were some especially important things to address with the headlines this week about Marty Sampson of Hillsong United saying heās losing his faith. Hillsong is one of the most popular worship bands today, and Sampsonās announcement has led to endless discussions on social media this week. Last month, a similar high-profile announcement was made by Joshua Harris, a pastor, and author known for his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
If you havenāt seen it, hereās what Sampson posted on Instagram:
āTime for some real talk. Iām genuinely losing my faith, and it doesnāt bother me. Like, what bothers me now is nothing. I am so happy now, so at peace with the world. Itās crazy.
This is a soapbox moment so here I go⦠How many preachers fall? Many. No one talks about it. How many miracles happen. Not many. No one talks about it. Why is the Bible full of contradictions? No one talks about it. How can God be love yet send four billion people to a place, all ācoz they donāt believe? No one talks about it. Christians can be the most judgmental people on the planetāthey can also be some of the most beautiful and loving people. But itās not for me.
I am not in any more. I want genuine truth. Not the āI just believe itā kind of truth. Science keeps piercing the truth of every religion. Lots of things help people change their lives, not just one version of God. Got so much more to say, but for me, I keeping it real. Unfollow if you want, Iāve never been about living my life for others.
All I know is whatās true to me right now, and Christianity just seems to me like another religion at this point. I could go on, but I wonāt. Love and forgive absolutely. Be kind absolutely. Be generous and do good to others absolutely. Some things are good no matter what you believe. Let the rain fall, the sun will come up tomorrow.ā
Some of the takeaways from Sampsonās announcement are obvious and have already been dissected ad nauseum this week (for example, no one should esteem Christian leaders to the point that if they fall away from Jesus, it impacts their own faith). However, there is a less obvious point I want to highlight today with implications for Christian parents specifically.
Itās not enough for kids to know that answers to faith questions are available.
As many have pointed out this week, Sampsonās claim that āno oneā is talking about the various faith questions he raised is absurd if taken literally. Of course, people are talking about those questions, and theyāve done so for thousands of years. In fact, theyāre so common that Iāve written about every point he raised in one or more of my books. He certainly didnāt stumble upon some kind of unexplored territory.
But Iām pretty sure he knows that, and itās not what he meant.
In fact, he later posted a list of some apologists (authors and speakers who defend the truth of Christianity) for people to check out if they have similar questions.
Sampson clearly knew that answers to his questions were available. The problem here is not a question of available answersā¦itās a question of available processing.
Building a Home Where Kids Process the Big Questions
When I talk to people after speaking engagements, a lot of parents will say something like, āItās so good to know that the answers are out there! I want my kids to know that!ā Thereās no indication that they have any intention of personally digging into those answers with their kids. They feel itās enough to point them to some ethereal box of knowledge when a need eventually arises.
Sampsonās statement attests to the serious problem with that idea.
He knew answers were out there, but was apparently living in a Christian climate that never really engaged with them. That silence screamed, āThe Christians around me arenāt thinking about faith as deeply as I am, otherwise they would be talking about this more and questioning too.ā
For adults like Sampson, this tends to be a function of the climate in the church you attend and the believers you fellowship with. For kids, itās in large part a function of the climate in your home.
In homes that foster a thinking climate, parents:
- Proactively raise big questions for discussionāeven when their kids arenāt asking them. (If you donāt know what those should be, there are seventy conversations to have with your kids in my first two books.)
- Explicitly tell their kids that questions are welcome and regularly ask what questions they have.
- Share their own questions about faith, and how theyāve searched for answers.
- Make it clear that biblical faith isnāt blind, and that God has given us much evidence for the truth of Christianity.
- Explore the beliefs and logical implications of other worldviews, so their kids better understand Christianity in context.
- Press kids to explain why they believe what they do, not just reiterate their viewpoints (on any topic, not just spiritual matters).
- Engage in conversation about hot cultural topics from a biblical worldview rather than avoid them.
- Model intellectual curiosity about faith by reading/listening to/watching content that grows their own understanding.
- Study the Bible with their kids for understanding, not just to memorize isolated verses.
In homes that donāt necessarily foster a thinking climate, parents tend to:
- Instill the idea that when we have questions, we just have to have more faith (but biblical faith is trusting in what you have good reason to believe is true).
- Assume kids will learn what they need about the Bible in Sunday school (but they wonāt).
- Equate discipleship with raising kids with āgood valuesā (but Christianity is far more than a set of values).
- Fear their kidsā questions, believing they will lose credibility if they canāt answer them (but kids can learn just as much from exploring answers with you).
- Believe they have no other spiritual responsibility than to pray for their kids (but we are called to be active disciplers).
Every Christian parent should take a hard look at whether theyāre fostering a āthinking climateā in their home. Giving your kids opportunities to process questions (not just telling them answers are available) so they donāt conclude āno oneā is talking about these things is a critical part of discipleship today.
And thereās one other related point I want to note from Sampsonās statement. He said, āLots of things help people change their lives, not just one version of God.ā
A lot of kids todayāand clearly adults, tooāare looking for the worldview that āworksā for them. The one that āchanges their life.ā The one that āfeelsā the best. The one that āhelps.ā
The problem is, thatās not the decision-making criteria we should use when considering worldviews. The question should always be, What is true? What is the true picture of reality?
If Christianity changes my life, but Jesus wasnāt raised from the dead, Christianity is still a false worldview, and I shouldnāt hold it. Itās not true.
If atheism changes my life, but Jesus was raised from the dead, atheism is still a false worldview, and I shouldnāt hold it. Itās not true.
Kids not only need opportunities to process big questions of faith, but they also need direction on how to weigh the answers; they need to clearly understand that the search should always be about discovering what is trueā¦not about what subjectively āworks.ā
I was sitting in a church group recently that was discussing the need for teaching kids these things. One parent very honestly acknowledged his doubts about all this, saying, āIt just seems like one more thing weāre supposed to do.ā
If thatās how you feel, I want to leave you with this thought. If your childās math teacher only wanted to teach them addition because subtraction is just āone more thing,ā youād think they were crazy. Subtraction is an integral part of math. In the same way, raising your kids in a home that presses in on deep questions of faith is not one more thing for Christian parents⦠itās an integral part of discipleship today, whether you feel like engaging in that process or not.
As you begin this school year, consider what the temperature is in your own homeās thinking climate. If itās been cold, donāt feel guiltyājust turn up the heat. If you donāt, the secular world will⦠before you even realize your kids have burned out of Christianity.
Recommended resources related to the topic:
Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side: 40 Conversations to Help Them Build a Lasting Faith https://amzn.to/2U8N50p
Talking with Your Kids about God: 30 Conversations Every Christian Parent Must Have https://amzn.to/343tfbv
Natasha Crain is a blogger, author, and national speaker who is passionate about equipping Christian parents to raise their kids with an understanding of how to make a case for and defend their faith in an increasingly secular world. She is the author of two apologetics books for parents: Talking with Your Kids about God (2017) and Keeping Your Kids on Godās Side (2016). Natasha has an MBA in marketing and statistics from UCLA and a certificate in Christian apologetics from Biola University. A former marketing executive and adjunct professor, she lives in Southern California with her husband and three children.
Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2Hv9srG
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