Tag Archive for: Pop Culture

4 Good Things That Go Bad When They Are Idolized

In recent years, Joshua Harris  announced that he and his wife are separating AND that he is no longer a Christian. In case you missed the whole I kissed Dating Goodbye craze in the late 1990’s, let me summarize: Joshua Harris was a prominent voice in purity culture (which Amy Davison has been blogging about here and here.)  In his early 20’s, he wrote a book advocating for “courtship” instead of “dating.” This change in perspective would supposedly allow young men and women to avoid emotional ties that would hinder their future marital happiness. There’s too much to go into here. In short, what started as one young man’s dating advice got turned into the 67th book of the Bible for many youth groups.

 

People are desperate for answers. In the wake of Harris’ announcement, many are pointing to other prominent Christian figures who have gone through a similar public “breakup with Jesus”—Derek Webb being one of them. In an article titled “Derek Webb: A Reformed Atheist” author, Steve Fraley, analyzes Webb’s demise from reformed Christian to atheist, postulating whether or not the reformed theology was to blame.[1] Upon Webb’s deconversion, many stepped forward to declare that this theology had also been their kryptonite. In essence, doubt and unbelief were proof that “God had not chosen them.” And according to staunch reformed theology, you cannot change the will of God. Better to just accept your fate.[2]

Suffice it to say, the bride of Christ is starting to look a whole lot like the bride of Hosea right now.

I have started noticing a trend In many of the deconversion stories I have read. What seems to precede the “falling away” for several of these men and women is idolatry of some sort—placing an unhealthy emphasis on something other than the Gospel. Many of these things are not—in and of themselves—bad. When placed in competition with Christ, there’s only so long that the soul can pretend to serve two masters. Eventually, there is a schism and often, it is orthodox Christianity that is left behind. Here’s a few of the trends I have noticed.

1) A particular theology…more than the whole of Scripture

We can turn anything into an idol, even theology. Click To Tweet

What does this look like: Now I don’t want to sound like I’m picking on reformed theology. There is a very Scriptural case to be made for it. I have, however, noticed a really unhealthy emphasis on it by some of its adherents. Just search the word “reformed” in the groups’ section on Facebook and you’ll get an idea of how committed people are to this theology. I mean really? Does someone really need a “Reformed and into Home Décor and Homemaking” group? You can’t help your Arminian friends also decorate their houses? [Update: the founder of this group has personally contacted me to clarify that her group welcomes all Christian men and women who are interested in home decorating. I apologize for the confusion this has caused.]

Having correct theology is important. That’s one way we worship Christ with our minds. However, when we take any theology and elevate it above the Gospel, it turns rotten. It doesn’t even matter the theology—orthodox or unorthodox.[3] We can turn anything into an idol. When it becomes an idol, it becomes a competitor for Christ in our hearts and we’ll eventually have to pick one.

How to tell if you are doing this: Do you tend to get more excited and feel closer to a person if they identify themselves with a particular theology than you do if they identify themselves as a Christian? Do you tend to have a lot of debates about one particular theology? Have you ever been tempted to view those who disagree with your theology as not “really saved,” or at least not as “mature” in their Christian faith?

2) A particular pastor… more than the bride of Christ

Be careful when you turn a good teacher into a celebrity.Click To Tweet

What does this look like: My husband John released an article which discusses the 12 signs of a personality cult (part 1, part 2). I suggest you take a look at it. Certain churches are known more by their pastor’s name than by their church’s name. While this is not always avoidable, it should be noted. If a church’s entire culture is based on one key individual, then what happens when that individual falls from grace, or lands him or herself in some sort of sin or scandal?

I watched this happen to my childhood church. [4] Our church was not a megachurch, so our fallout was much smaller. The same cannot be said for churches like Mars Hill (ala Mark Driscoll) and Sovereign Grace Ministries (ala CJ Mahaney). With the #metoo movement still working its way through our American pews, we are seeing celebrity pastors crumble at an unprecedented rate. I have no doubt that the people who studied under Joshua Harris are having their own crises of faith right now.

Unfortunately, we can’t prevent other people from making idols, so nobody can idol-proof their ministry. We can idol-proof our hearts though. Bottom line—your loyalty to a spiritual figure should never compete with your loyalty to Christ. Ask yourself—if the person I admire the most were to announce that they were walking away from the faith, how badly would it affect my faith? Our faith is to be based on Christ—His life, death, and resurrection. That is why I love apologetics. No matter how many celebrity teachers suddenly decide to fall away, I can’t unknow what I know. (see my testimony in chapter 1 of the Mama Bear Apologetics book.)

How to tell if you are doing this:  If you don’t personally know the leader and your main exposure to him or her is from a pulpit, ask yourself these questions: If and when you hear an accusation against a leader, is your first instinct to defend them or to seek more information to evaluate? Do you worry more about a ministry’s reputation than you do about truth (even ugly truth) being revealed? Do you seek out information that might change your mind, or do you only look at things that confirm what you already believe about a person? Has the downfall of a Christian leader significantly impacted your faith?

3) Our own identity… more than our identity in Christ

Even our own identities can become an idol.Click To Tweet

What does this look like: Unless we are defining ourselves as children of the living God, we are basing our identities on shifting sand. Every part of what I see as my “identity” is open for reinterpretation in our postmodern world. The going narrative is that however I am, I was born that way, and God doesn’t make mistakes. While this statement is technically true, it doesn’t take our sin nature into account.

We get wrapped up in how we think we were made—introvert or extrovert, thinker or feeler, banker, scientist, athlete, artist, writer, gay, or straight. Christ said that anyone who wishes to follow Him must “deny themselves and take up their cross.” (Matthew 10:38) There is no part of our identity that is immune to this call. My profession, my personality, my interests, habits, and yes, even my sexuality will all have aspects that I need to deny and submit to Christ—even when it’s hard, and even when it feels unnatural. Introverts are called to fellowship. Extroverts were modeled (by Jesus) to have solitary time with God the Father. Feelers are called to love God with their minds. Thinkers are called to love God with their hearts. Those outside of Biblical marriage [5] are to honor God in their singleness. Those inside of Biblical marriage are to honor God in their marriage. Christ accepts all of us exactly as we are, but following Him means becoming more like Him. The moment that we over-commit ourselves to an aspect of our “identity” is the moment that we stop denying ourselves to follow Christ. Instead, we start demanding that He make the journey of carrying our crosses more comfortable. That is, unfortunately, a promise He never made.

How to tell if you are doing this: Do you have a modifier before the word “Christian” to define yourself? Do you find yourself making excuses to not change aspects about yourself because you feel like it’s “just the way you are” or “how God made you?” Do you think there are certain aspects of your identity that are unfallen and to be accepted “as is?” Do you conclude that if someone doesn’t accept all the parts of you, then they hate you?

4) An emotional experience… more than the everyday faith journey

Faith grows stronger through suffering than it does through comfort.Click To Tweet

What does this look like: In the Mama Bear Apologetics book, I mention that people can sometimes mistake experiences with Jesus for Jesus Himself. There is good to be had in mountaintop experiences at summer camp and intimate times of rapturous worship at a conference. However, our addiction to these experiences can sometimes eclipse the everyday relationship that we are called to have with Jesus.

I compare it to those dating reality TV shows where the couple shares a kiss after hang-gliding over the Grand Canyon. It’s really easy to fall in love over candlelit dinners on your own private island, but the love that is formed there is not necessarily the same love that cleans the toilet multiple times a day while your spouse has the stomach flu. It’s not the love that does the dishes or forfeits the last piece of coveted cheesecake. These are the more mundane everyday acts of love, but they are closer to reality than a zip-line date over a waterfall.

Similarly, our relationship with Jesus does not always consist of going from one emotional high to another. It is a faith journey, winding through peaks and valleys. This may not sound nearly as sexy, but it’s real and much more stable than anything we can conjure up on our own.

How to tell if you are doing this: Do you feel like God is “less present” when you are doing ordinary parts of life than when you are having an emotional high? Does suffering jolt you out of love with God? When things feel dry, do you press in to Jesus more, or seek another experience?

In conclusion, none of these things are, by themselves, bad. It is good to want to have correct theology. It is good to support your leaders. It is good to know yourself. It is good to experience Christ. It is when we idolize these, however, that a good thing from God goes bad.

References: 

[1] Reformed theology teaches that salvation is solely on the basis of whom God chooses.

[2] Some would of course claim that this is a perversion of true reformed theology, but I do not have time to open up that can of worms here.

[3] We see this in the “health and wealth gospel” (aka prosperity gospel) where God’s earthly favor is the main “proof” of an individual’s amount of faith. It happens with spiritual gifts as well. I’ve seen at least one church elevate “speaking in tongues” to this pedestal. They literally had a huge bulletin board with pictures of members and the dates that the member first started speaking in tongues. Not their date of baptism or private repentance and salvation. Speaking in tongues.

[4] Our pastor started out telling the congregation several times a year that he wanted to run the church in such a way that if he ever had a great falling, that nobody in the congregation’s faith would be rocked because he had sufficiently pointed us to Christ. Ironically, 15 years later, this is exactly what happened. And while I don’t know if many people lost their faith, the church was never the same. And pastor’s decline was preceded by several of the points John makes in his article.

[5] Biblical marriage is defined between one man and one woman for life, with exceptions in the case of unfaithfulness. Matthew 19:3-9

Recommended Resources: 

Correct not Politically Correct: About Same-Sex Marriage and Transgenderism by Frank Turek (Book, MP4)

Stealing From God by Dr. Frank Turek (Book, 10-Part DVD Set, STUDENT Study Guide, TEACHER Study Guide)

Jesus vs. The Culture by Dr. Frank Turek DVD, Mp4 Download, and Mp3

Reflecting Jesus into a Dark World by Dr. Frank Turek – DVD Complete Series, Video mp4 DOWNLOAD Complete Series, and mp3 audio DOWNLOAD Complete Series

 

Hillary Morgan Ferrer is the founder of Mama Bear Apologetics. She is the chief author and editor of Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies and Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design. Hillary has her masters in Biology and has been married to her husband, Dr. John D. Ferrer, for 17 years. Don’t let her cook for you. She’ll burn your house straight to the ground. Image source: Hillary-Morgan-Ferrer-Square-2.jpg (1500×1500)

Originally posted at: https://bit.ly/4iKPdFW

/by

17 Ways Your Kids Will Encounter Challenges to Their Faith

By Natasha Crain

In conjunction with my new book, I’ll be doing several speaking events and seminars. In those events, I’ll be explaining to parents the key faith challenges that their kids will encounter, and what they need to do to equip their kids with a faith that’s ready for those challenges.

One of the event coordinators sent me a couple of questions that her prospective attendees had sent in response to the outline of my talk. The parents who had seen the outline wanted to be sure I included information on how kids will encounter challenges to their faith. In other words, it’s one thing to have a general understanding that challenges lurk in the world, but it’s another thing to be able to put your finger on what, specifically, we’re talking about.

Today I want to give you a bunch of very practical ways your own kids will encounter challenges to their faith. There are many others, but this is a list to just get you thinking. If you don’t believe your kids are being challenged on their faith (or will be soon), I pray this opens your eyes.

 

1. Your kids’ own thoughts.

Who has never had doubts about their faith simply based on their own life experiences? Even if you kept your kids in a tiny bubble for 18 years so they would never encounter an external challenge to their faith (something neither possible nor desirable), questions would still naturally arise. How do I know an “invisible” God is actually there? Why is there so much bad stuff in the world if God is good? Why am I trapped in this tiny bubble? The list goes on.

 

2. Other kids.

With fewer Christian adults in America, there are now fewer kids being raised as Christians as well. Just as we want to raise our kids with a belief in Jesus, most atheists want to raise their kids with a belief that God doesn’t exist. If your kids are in a public school, they will certainly hear conflicting comments from other kids about Christianity…and friends are powerful influencers.

What if you send your kids to a private Christian school? They’ll probably encounter fewer challenges from friends, but that doesn’t mean they won’t encounter challenges at all. My own kids go to a private Christian school and last year a Kindergartener told them that only her mom believes in God—she believes “in science,” like her dad.

Wherever you engage with other kids—school, extracurricular activities, and even church (see number 17)—your kids may very well encounter challenges to their faith.

 

3. School teachers.

While public school teachers are supposed to be objective, it should surprise no one that such objectivity doesn’t always play out in practice. I received an email from a parent a few weeks ago saying that her daughter mentioned something about her faith in class one day and the teacher replied, “You believe all that stuff?” The girl was embarrassed and the mom who emailed me wondered how to talk to her child about the issue of respecting authority figures (like teachers) while understanding they may also be wrong.

 

4. School subjects.

Evolutionary biology is an obvious subject where kids will be challenged by what they learn, given the apparent conflict with the biblical creation account. But issues of worldview arise in many other subjects as well: history (e.g., a teacher may present the historical actions of Christians very negatively), literature (e.g., in the messages/worldview presented), civics (e.g., how the relationship between “church and state” is presented), anthropology (e.g., how we should accept the values of other cultures as equally right), and any science (e.g., that the only things we can know are those things proven empirically through science).

 

5. Kids’ books.

Maybe you very carefully select books for your kids. That’s great. But don’t forget your kids also have access to books at their friends’ houses, the community library, the school library, and a number of other places. Last time we were at the public library, my 4-year-old at the time brought us a cute little book about penguins. I flipped through it to learn it was all about how families with two daddy penguins are the same as families with a mommy AND daddy penguin.

Aside from books with different values in general, there are plenty of books now being written for kids that directly attack religious beliefs. Check out The Belief Book by David McAfee, as one example (McAfee is a vocal atheist). I read this last night, and it’s all about how religious beliefs are holdovers from ancient people who didn’t know how else to explain the world…but today we have the scientific method. It’s written in a fun, kid-appropriate tone, as if explaining something as innocuous as what baby pandas eat for dinner. More of these books are surely on the way.

 

6. Magazines (for adults OR kids).

My twins love National Geographic—both the adult and kid versions. Even though they’re only 6, they love to look through it. This month’s cover features the face of an ape with the headline, “Almost Human.” The article talks about the newest member of the “human family tree.” Whether or not you’re a Christian who accepts evolution, that’s a magazine cover that warrants conversation. The sky’s the limit on what kids will find in magazines that challenges their worldview. My kids have asked a ton of questions just based on what they see in line at the grocery store.

 

7. Nonbelieving family members.

In recent months, as I’ve written more about atheism, I’ve received a lot of comments and emails from parents who either have a nonbelieving spouse, or nonbelieving family members with whom their kids regularly interact. For many families, this is the most difficult kind of challenge because it’s often more personal in nature. Depending on the relationship between your kids and a nonbelieving family member, the influence can be very strong.

 

8. Movies.

We all know that there are plenty of adult movies that outright attack religion or Christianity in particular. It’s pretty easy to either steer clear of those movies with your kids or intentionally watch them with the purpose of having a discussion afterward. What many parents don’t realize, however, is how often movies have more subtle messages that can really impact their kids’ worldview over time. The children’s movieHappy Feet, for example, looks adorable, but is a mockery of religion. Don’t be deceived…challenges often come in cute little packages.

 

9. Music.

Music is just like movies. While most parents are certainly aware there are musical artists they wouldn’t allow their kids to listen to, far less attention is given to the stealth secularism that creeps into mainstream lyrics. As one example, you can read my recent post about the pervasive lyrical message that “being true to yourself” is an ideal(something it shouldn’t be from a Christian perspective).

 

10. Commercials.

Even if you carefully pick TV shows for your kids to watch, you can’t control the commercials. Need an example of how commercials are increasingly becoming a challenge? Check out the Chobani Simply 100 commercial.

 

11. Freeway billboards.

Take a second and Google “atheist billboards.” Click on the results with images. There you will see the kinds of signs popping up all over the country. Here are a few:

  • “Are you good without God? Millions are.”
  • “There is no God. Don’t believe everything you hear.”
  • “You KNOW it’s a myth. This [Christmas] season, celebrate reason!”
  • “Please don’t indoctrinate me with religion. Teach me to think for myself.” (with a kid’s picture)
  • “God is an imaginary friend. Choose reality.”

These seeds of doubt may well be planted when your kids notice such signs from the back of your car…and, if they don’t comment, you won’t even know. (If you see a sign like these, talk about it!)

 

12. Results of purposeful internet searches.

Perhaps your kids have a question about Christianity that they don’t feel comfortable asking you (for any number of reasons). Type ANY question about Christianity into your search engine and you will bring up a massive database of anti-Christian responses. There will be Christian ones as well, but you can be sure those aren’t the only ones your kids will click on.

Don’t get me wrong: It’s important for kids to hear other answers. But the quality of those answers varies so much online that there’s no way of knowing where they’ll end up (that goes for the “Christian” sites as well). The internet is a bottomless pit of hostility toward Christianity.

 

13. Results of unrelated internet searches.

Your kids don’t even have to be searching for something related to religion (see number 12) to end up on sites opposed to Christianity. I was looking for something the other day and ended up at a site for pastors who are closet atheists. I wish I could remember what I was searching for as an example, but all I know is that it was something completely unrelated to religion.

 

14. Viral videos.

If your kids have access to social media, they will undoubtedly encounter viral videos that challenge their faith in any number of ways. And it’s not always as obvious as you think. Last month, a video called “I’m a Christian, But I’m Not…” went viral. It features a bunch of young people saying things like, “I’m a Christian, but I’m not homophobic”…”but I’m not close-minded”…”but I’m not uneducated”…”but I’m not judgmental”…” It’s a ridiculous video that promotes the idea that most other Christians are those things. Such a video could sound good to your kids while altering their perception of what they believe.

 

15. YouTube comments on videos.

This is related to number 14, but is worth calling out separately. Under every YouTube video, you’ll find comments. On the one I just described, there are over 13,000. If you want the opportunity to bang your head repeatedly on the table next to you out of spiritual frustration, please read some. The comment sections often take on a life of their own, where your kids will have the opportunity to read all kinds of additional challenges to their beliefs (be assured that nonbelievers often comment on Christian videos as well, so this isn’t a matter of somehow protecting your kids from secular media).

 

16. Social media conversations.

 Again, if your kids on social media, they’ll have front row seats to watch conversations between their friends about religion and current hot topics. In case you haven’t noticed, these conversations can come up in all kinds of ways. I think the most vicious I’ve seen in my own Facebook feed was when an atheist friend talked about how devastated she was over the killing of Cecil the Lion this summer. Someone else asked why she wasn’t as upset about babies being aborted. That spun into hundreds of comments between people over animal rights, abortion, the existence of God, where we get morality, and so on.

 

17. Church.

What? Church? Yes, church. And for all kinds of reasons. For example, just as we should expect, the church is full of hypocrites because the church is full of sinful humans. As kids notice the difference between what people say and what they do, it can be a natural challenge to their faith. Alternatively, I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard about church leaders/teachers quietly acknowledging to kids that they don’t really believe, or that Christianity is just one way to God, or that what’s really important is that we save the Earth, etc. Don’t assume that church is free from the possibility of faith challenges.

 

So what should you do about all these challenges? Contrary to what may be your instinct, the goal shouldn’t be to simply minimize them. Your kids will be swimming amongst them someday, whether you teach them to swim now or not. If you avoid the pool while they’re at home, they’ll just drown later when there’s no choice but to swim. Instead, jump in with them now, be alert to where the challenges are, learn how to answer them yourself, and teach your kids how to swim through with confidence.

 

Which of these challenges have your own kids encountered? What challenges should be added to the list? I’d love to hear your experiences.

 

Visit Natasha’s Website: ChristianMomThoughts.com

/by